Being a fan really isn't fun

By Chad Garner

Fan Fanatic Sports

OK, I'm a New York Yankees fan and I have no problem admitting it.

What my problem is is that I can't enjoy watching them play -- ever.

I'm a true fan -- like many of you out there (whoever you root for) -- and I live and die on every pitch, regular season or postseason.

So, while the Yanks are trying to win the World Series, I sit in my recliner every night they play the Phillies and I'm a ball of nerves. Every pitch, every at-bat, every play in the field, it's magnified on this level but it also makes me so nervous that I have a hard time watching.

Yes, I want to turn the game off and wait until around midnight to find out who won, but I can't. I need to watch, although it pains me for roughly four hours.

It's not healthy, I know, but that's what we fans do.

We live through our favorite team and take it personally when they lose. When they win, we win. In the postseason, I can't even enjoy a victory, I'm always looking ahead to the next game and then I get nervous again.

Yes, it's not fun being a diehard fan. But why do we do it? Because we love the game and our team.

It's only 10 a.m. when I type this and the butterflies are already setting in. In superstitious, too. I take full responsibility for the Yankees losing Game 5. The reason: I went into my drawer and the first t-shirt I grabbed was what color? Red. It was a bad sign and the Phillies won.

That won't happen again.

I took all the red shirts out of my drawer last night and can't make that same mistake twice.

Oh, and I can't wear Yankees gear, either. Every time I do -- a hat, t-shirt, jersey, sweatshirt, etc. -- they lose.

I know I've got issues, but I'm trying everything in my power -- well, in my mind -- to help my favorite team win the World Series.

I really just want this series to be over -- please tonight -- because this feeling I've had since the playoffs started isn't good. I'm on edge every day, even off days.

Yes, I'm worried about Pedro Martinez throwing a gem, I'm worried about Andy Pettitte pitching on three days' rest, I'm worried about Mark Teixeira and his hitting slump and I'm worried about pitching to Chase Utley.

You get the point, I'm a fragile man right now.

But I know I'm not the only man/women/child out there that's feeling this way.

I hope the players on the field know what we go through cheering them on.

Being a diehard fan isn't fun, but it's really the only way I know how to act.