Red's Rants: Give somebody else a seat at the table

By Brendan Hall
Fan Fanatic Sports Staff

By now, we’ve heard every argument and counter-argument.

“The computers are accurate.” There are many factors the computers don’t take into consideration.

“Getting rid of bowl games would exterminate years of tradition.” You whored out all the tradition years ago.

The BCS sucks. “No, it doesn’t.”

At this point, I’ve become numb to the BCS mishaps – it’s comedy at this point. When Oregon pounded Cal, and the Golden Bears hardly dropped, most of this country was up in arms. I sat back and laughed. Oh, BCS, you clown you. I’ve become immune to college football’s cantankerous drivel the way diseases will be immune to penicillin by the year 2200.

Boise State is coming in at No. 5 in this week’s AP poll, and they’ve got plenty of trap games left on their plate – Nevada and Fresno State come to mind. Logic says they’ll get caught looking at the big picture and stumble, and they’ll fall out of the championship contention.

Rinse and repeat for Houston (see: Houston, Tulsa, SMU, UAB).

Until these old farts handing in the ballots step down or die off, it’s going to be a steep uphill climb to get these “voters” to change their ways – you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, as my father would say.

I propose a more radical idea. Call me crazy, but just listen to the plan.

Ignore it.

All it takes is one news organization to start the ball rolling. Remember what a stir Bill Ballou caused when he immediately wrote Hideki Matsui out of the AL Rookie of the Year voting in 2003? Just imagine what would happen if, say, ESPN or SI decided not to recognize the BCS champ as the national champion.

No, you say? Impossible?

OK, here’s a more novel idea.

The myth that these “mid-major” conferences can’t hang is slowly eroding. I can’t pinpoint where this actually got steamrolling – right around 2002, maybe, when lowly Louisville knocked off Florida St.? – but the Mountain West, WAC and Conference-USA have closed the gap big-time. From herein, we’re going to see a whole lot more 2008 Utah’s than 2007 Hawaii’s.

These schools recruit just as hard, if not harder, and uncover gem after gem. In an age where high school juniors are verbally committing to schools unseen on September 1, they capitalize on the late bloomers, overlooked overachievers and unsung heroes.
But instead of punishing them for what they were in 1959, let’s reward them for what they are in 2009: legit conferences who may not be a wholesome top to bottom, but can definitely hang at the top.

So here’s the deal: if the conference has a school finish in the Top 15 for three consecutive years, that conference gets an automatic bid for the next two. That means the Mountain West and WAC finally get bids they deserve, but keeps them hungry. If you want to keep the bid, keep scheduling hard or you’ll lose it.

What do you think?

***

You know your basketball program’s a circus sideshow when the very entities you characterize the program as get offended. Allow me to explain…

This letter appeared in today’s Binghamton Press & Sun-Bulletin, which covers the Bearcats’ crip set, er, basketball squad. The school’s AD called the basketball program “a zoo”, and the local zoo got offended that he would compare them to such mongrels.

What I find funny about all these reactions about the program being a shame, is that everybody knew what they were getting into when they decided to go big-time. You don’t just make an NCAA Tournament overnight without cutting a few corners and bringing on some lunatics – just ask Jerry Tarkanian or John Calipari.
But this letter cracks me up. Bravo. Among the greatest hits:

“Not one of our tigers has done cocaine.”

“No otter knocks over old ladies to shoplift condoms.”

If sewer rats could talk, just imagine what they’d say to Linda Tripp.

***

Paul Finebaum, that flat-earth knucklehead at the Mobile Press-Register, strikes again. Which reminds me of a joke I came up with last night:

Q: Paul Finebaum, Mike Freeman and Andrew Perloff all jump off a cliff at the same time. Who lands first?

A: Nobody cares.

I digress. Hating on the Finebaums and Freemans of the world is like beating Tekken with Eddy Gordo, and this is why. I mean, seriously Mike Freeman, did Randy Moss run over your dog or something?

Am I bitter? No, just disappointed in the fact that Rick Reilly makes a million dollars to sit on his ass all day while I bust my ass as a deeply-sourced freelance writer who writes clean, fluff-free copy. What do I have to do to get some attention around here, pull a Jemele Hill?

Yep, still digressing…