By Brendan Hall
Fan Fanatic Sports Staff
OK, time to debunk this myth that Tim Tebow is a gift from the Gates of Heaven, and that 22 years ago in Jacksonville there was an Immaculate Conception.
But first, a little trivia...there are two things these guys all have in common. What are they?
-Rex Grossman
-Chris Leak
-Danny Weurffel
-Jesse Palmer
-Shane Matthews
-Kerwin Bell
-Brock Berlin
-Doug Johnson
-Ingle Martin
We in the world of sports media often joke, "must be a slow news week" when something trite, hackneyed or trivial gets blown out of proportion (see: Favre, Brett; Romo, Tony; James, LeBron). As corny as it sounds, this year's SEC Media Day was most definitely a "slow news week".
More specifically, I'm talking about two controversies surrounding Tim Tebow. The first one, in a rather comical moment, involves Tebow channeling his inner A.C. Green. When asked by reporter Clay Travis, author of "On Rocky Top" if he was saving himself for marriage (read between the lines, folks), his quick retort -- with a laugh -- was "Yes, I am...I think you're all stunned right now. I was ready for the question. Y'all weren't."
Of course, it was only a matter of time before the "hey, that's an unethical thing to ask!" wagon got rolling. People, it was a joke question, and it was deliberate through and through. Who cares? Get bent.
The second not-so-mini non-controversy was a whodunit caper. Apparently one of the 12 SEC coaches had the "galls" to pick someone other than Tebow as the first team Preseason All-SEC quarterback.
I, unlike some of our contemporaries in the biz, understand where the heat is coming from. With Lane Kiffin making his hatred of Florida so strong, and so public, the media thought that he was trying to stir things up again. But the story, as many SEC non-controversies tend to do, took on a life of his own.
Let us be reminded here that this is a college football media day gathering, not the sequel to "Gosford Park".
Every SEC coach was asked who he voted for as quarterback. When it turned out Steve Spurrier was the unholy one to commit such a sin, the southern media frig'n lost it. How could such a brash figure be so bold as to NOT agree that Tim Tebow is the best thing to happen to football since Teddy Roosevelt? I mean, this is only GOD'S GIFT TO FOOTBALL. The man preaches at state penitentiaries and does missionary work in the Phillipines. He even once breast-fed an injured flamingo back to full health. You son of a bitch, Steve, you!
Kidding aside, Spurrier handled the controversy about as smoothly as a jackhammer. Rather than man up and say, "Yes, it was me. I'm the one who voted for Jevan Snead, because he's a damn good quarterback who might be the No. 1 overall pick in next year's NFL Draft", he threw his director of football operations under the bus. In blaming his DFB for filling it out, he forgot the part where it's still HIS name on the ballot.
What I want to know, though, is why the media's double standard isn't being played up more. Three media members picked against Tebow for first team All-SEC (two for Snead, one for Arkansas' Ryan Mallett), yet nobody seems interested. I mean, wow, Mallett hasn't even won the starting job over Casey Dick, and somebody already wants to give him a crown? Who's voting in this thing, Roger Clinton?
Here's the truth that Tebow worshippers don't want to hear: he's not exactly a lock as the best quarterback even in his own conference.
Seriously.
Why is that such a hard pill to swallow?
Probably because historically, most Florida quarterbacks go on to endure mediocre careers in the NFL...which leads to my trivia answer. All of the aforementioned quarterbacks played at Florida within the last 15 seasons, and not one ever came close to making a Pro Bowl.
Tebow, coincidentally, may or may not project well in the NFL, depending on who you ask. Some believe his throwing motion needs to be tweaked out, and sped up, if he's going to be successful in the pros. Others feel he needs to improve on his accuracy -- the spread option, as Vince Young's career can attest, is not the greatest indicator of throwing ability. Others are skeptical as to whether he belongs at quarterback at the next level. Nobody, however, questions his leadership skills, which may lead to these misconceptions that Tebow is, in fact, God.
Snead, on the other hand, is almost a lock to go in the first 10-15 picks of next spring's draft if he chooses to forgo his final year of eligibilty. He has the tools to be a quality starter in the pros, with better mechanics, better zip on the ball, and a mean streak that rivals Tebow's. Some are even comparing him to another famous Ole Miss signal-caller -- Eli Manning -- minus the part about getting rattled and acting like a crybaby. Everyone sees him as a quarterback, and a starter, if and when he makes it to the NFL.
Not to mention, the Rebels delivered Florida its lone loss last season.
How's that for Deity?
***
The best and worst thing about covering the SEC is that Mike Finebaum and Gregg Doyel also cover the SEC. The good? Endless opportunities to have fun at somebody else's expense. The bad? I now have to read their columns.
I'll have a full breakdown later in the week, but for now let me throw my opinions on a couple other league issues, followed by my All-SEC first and second teams.
-- Sorry for being late to the ball game on this one, but Auburn's hiring of Gene Chizik as its new head coach is questionable -- but it's certainly not racist.
(Deadspin even speculated that Turner Gill wasn't hired because he's married to a white woman, another reason why I'd love to throw down hand-to-hand with A.J. "Classless Clown" Daulerio. I mean, look at this pipsqueak)
I think we take for granted how hard it is to win at Iowa State. First off, the northern Prairie is by no means a recruiting hotbed (which makes what Tom Osborne did at Nebraska all the more special). USC has Los Angeles. Florida has Florida. Texas has Texas. Michigan has Detroit. Notre Dame has Catholics across the country. What does Iowa have, farmers and cornstalks? And not to mention, all the decent in-state recruits end up in Iowa City, not Ames, by virtue of the Hawkeyes' rugged history. Recruting wise, there isn't enough talent to supply two major Division 1 programs.
Second of all, as a defensive coordinator Chizik won a national title in 2005 with Texas and was robbed of one in 2004 with Auburn. He clearly has an idea of what he's doing. Give him a supporting staff and he can make your defense nasty.
Third, Chizik has already assembled a Top 20 class for 2010. While I have no doubt Turner Gill would do very well recruiting in the SEC, what with his Texas roots and the amazing job he's done at Buffalo, Chizik clearly isn't bad, either.
In short, Chizik wasn't a racist pick. Just a safe one. Don't look too far into the racist undertones -- despite Chizik's tenure at Iowa State, he's more qualified than you'd think.
-- Memo to former Tennessee and UNC assistant Paul Gonnella: if you're reading this, call me. Seriously, ever since you left the Vols late last month for reasons still unconfirmed, you've been an absolute ghost. Where are you, Torah Borah?
For the uninitiated, let me warn you that I might be a little bit of a homer for Gonnella. When I was first hired to cover football at the Globe, he was a young, eager ball of energy heading a Cambridge High team that, in most years, is Godawful. Not to mention, being in the Greater Boston League you have to play Everett every year.
We immediately clicked, and over the fall he became one of my best sources and closest confidants. While other high school coaches had other commitments keeping them asleep at night like, oh, teaching, Paul and I were up til midnight, sometimes 1, chatting about all sorts of football-related stuff -- who's good, who's overrated, and why the spread is the greatest thing ever.
Gonnella ended up sending four kids D-1 in his three years there, including Josh Adams (UNC) and Ray Doucette (Bryant), before hopping aboard at UNC. I like to believe he also had a big hand in Catholic Memorial's Brennan Williams scratching Michigan off his official visit list and picking the Tar Heels.
He then came over this past January to Tennessee, and for some reason we started talking less and less. Word is he had a falling out with Lane Kiffin. And with that, Kiffin lost a good recruiting connect up here (not that there's much talent in Massachusetts to begin with, but still...I mean, they did offer Blake Barker from Wellesley last March).
So anyways, that's my friendship with Paul. But dude, if you're reading this, freaking call me.
Even if it's 2 a.m.
PRESEASON ALL-SEC PICKS
First Team Offense
QB - Jevan Snead, Jr., Ole Miss (Yep, I'm calling it)
RB - Mark Ingram, Soph., Alabama
RB - Chad Scott, Sr., LSU
WR - Julio Jones, Soph., Alabama
WR - AJ Green, Soph., Georgia
TE - Aaron Hernandez, Jr., Florida
C - Ryan Pugh, Jr., Auburn
OL - Maurkice Pouncey, Jr., Florida
OL - Mike Johnson, Sr., Alabama
OL - Ciron Black, Sr., LSU
OL - John Jerry, Sr., Ole Miss
ATH - Javier Arenas, Sr., Alabama
K - Joshua Shene, Sr., Ole Miss
First Team Defense
DL - Terrence Cody, Sr., Alabama
DL - Malcolm Sheppard, Sr., Arkansas
DL - Jermaine Cunningham, Sr., Florida
DL - Antonio Coleman, Sr., Auburn
LB - Brandon Spikes, Sr., Florida
LB - Rolando McClain, Jr., Alabama
LB - Jamar Chaney, Sr., Mississippi State
DB - Trevard Lindley, Sr., Kentucky
DB - Myron Lewis, Sr., Vanderbilt
DB - Eric Berry, Jr., Tennessee
DB - Chad Jones, Jr., LSU
P - Spencer Lanning, Jr., South Carolina
Second Team Offense
QB - Tim Tebow, Sr., Florida
RB - Michael Smith, Sr., Arkansas
RB - Bryce Brown, Fr., Tennessee
WR - Dexter McCluster, Sr., Ole Miss
WR - Brandon LaFell, Sr., LSU
TE - D.J. Williams, Jr., Arkansas
C - Ben Jones, Soph., Georgia
OL - Clint Boling, Jr., Georgia
OL - Mike Pouncey, Jr., Florida
OL - Lee Ziemba, Jr., Auburn
OL - Reilly Lauer, Jr., Vanderbilt
ATH - Brandon James, Sr., Florida
K - Leigh Tiffin, Sr., Alabama
Second Team Defense
DL - Geno Atkins, Sr., Georgia
DL - Carlos Dunlap, Jr., Florida
DL - Dan Williams, Sr., Tennessee
DL - Jeremy Jarmon, Sr., Kentucky
LB - Eric Norwood, Sr., South Carolina
LB - Micah Johnson, Sr., Kentucky
LB - Rico McCoy, Sr., Tennessee
DB - Joe Haden, Jr., Florida
DB - Major Wright, Jr., Florida
DB - Rashard Jones, Jr., Georgia
DB - Dennis Rogan, Jr., Tennessee
P - Chas Henry, Jr., Florida
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